Reflecting on the Community Call
/Last week I participated in The Neighboring Movement’s second ever quarterly community call. It was inspiring! I found it energizing to visit (on zoom) with people from other parts of Kansas, other states, and Canada! Neighboring really is a movement, bubbling up simultaneously in many places. In each of the four breakout sessions, I heard stories from folks practicing neighboring in their own location. People were honest about the struggles of neighboring as an introvert, or the awkwardness of not knowing exactly how to start a conversation. There were resources shared – books about neighboring, podcasts, organizations, courses, initiatives, and websites. Talk about assets!
I facilitated a breakout session entitled: Leaning into the Awkward, Neighboring as an Introvert. To my surprise it turned out to be a popular session – attended by both introverts and extroverts wanting to better connect with introverted neighbors. In preparation for the conversation, I did a little research and found a relevant blog post on Kristin Schell’s Turquoise Table site. She shared three block party tips from author Kendra Broekhuis:
Include a start and a general end time in your invitation
Keep the duration short and flexible
Incorporate buffers
I particularly connected to the third tip because some of what she is naming as buffers we, at The Neighboring Movement, refer to as third things – sort of an external focal point such as a pet or a garden box or a game or craft. Third things remove some of the awkwardness because they provide something to talk about.
In one conversation we talked about the voices that prevent us from neighboring, like the voice that offers 20 reasons why a neighbor may not be interested in participating in a particular activity. Our conclusion was to persevere in connecting and inviting and not worry about what the response may be. Also, there is a cumulative effect of neighboring and we never know when there might be something going on in a person’s life that either motivates them or prevents them from engaging with neighbors.
Perhaps the most significant takeaway was that neighboring is not just for extroverts, and introverts don’t need to try to be extroverted in order to neighbor. Introverts bring unique assets to the neighboring table. As Daniel Reffner concluded, “the earnestness introverts can bring to an encounter” is a gift. “As introverts we should be more bold in that and claim it.” This relates back to one of our core values, joy, which we define as the practice of authentic living and celebration in community. We are called to neighbor authentically to who we are – whether as introverts or extroverts or somewhere in between.